Eish!

I don’t own a TV.

This is partly because I secretly enjoy telling people that I don’t pay my TV license because it’s the right thing to do. It’s also partly because the internet is jammed pack full of awesomeness that I can rely on it for all my amusements, abusements and bemusements.

It’s been a long and eventful journey since my first taste of the world-wide-wait. Now I crave it from my parched intellect to my my starving need to be entertained. Herewith follows an (almost) chronological account of all the poignant moments in my web-surfing career, the highlights, the old faithfuls and once-a-day fixes.

If you are not familiar with these gems already, it will only serve to highlight your diminuative age or your complete and utter failure of ever having grasped what the internet was created for in the first place. Don’t be embarrassed, like athlete’s foot, it can be cured slowly.

Zombocom

You can do anything you like at Zombo.com. Just turn your sound up. Charl introduced me to zombo in the late 90′s. He said it would sooth my weary eyeballs. He also said something about a lump and trousers but I think he was talking about something else at the time. Zombo helped me write my thesis without burning my retinas. Thanks.

Badger Badger Badger

Let it ride. Sing it in the bath. They once made a Halloween version with Zombies but, alas, I can find it not. So much sadness.

Sam, the World’s Ugliest Dog

This delightful little ball of prettiness will empregante its image on your retina and make you grateful for all the things that God has given you. He didn’t give them to Sam. He gave them to you. Thank Him for it. You’ll need to do a Google images search.

Joe Cartoon

Joe has given so much to the world: super-fly, frogs in blenders, monkey spanking and panda-patties. We killit for your skillit. Expand your horizons. Unleash your potential. Shoot mermaids with torpedoes. Oh the humanity!

Cat’s that Look Like Hitler

Sieg miaow pussies. Find your favourate Kitlers here. Laura loves this one immensely. Sadly, Icanhascheezburger may have stolen some traction in this market, but these furry feline balls of pure evilness will always have a special place in my back garden.

The Curtain

The Curtain is the very best that mindless link propogation has to offer. Instead of sending you away to look for awesomeness, it brings a plate of it right to your screen. We should be paying for a service like this. But we don’t. Thankfully.

Hayibo!

News for the discerning readership that really knows what’s going on in South Africa. I have the T-Shirt (thanks Lis).

The Lank Tank

Not much doesn’t happen at the Lank Tank. It is a recent addition to my reading list but never fails to deliver on mindless link propogation and discerning commentary to help you gain insights into the mind of the average Capetonian twenty-something. Or are they thirty-something? It’s hard to tell, somethimes they sound like seven-and-a-half-something. If you can make it into their poll then you have arrived. Safely.

Baglett

Just read it, don’t judge it. Prize winning prose from someone who may, or may not, physically exist.

No Room Service, Just Snacks and Shit

Modern rap and Hip/Hop is hard decipher sometimes. The hidden meanings, the double entendres, the futility of trying to rhyme with “orange”. Snacks and Shit takes that away from you. It’s a lot like outsourcing your pain.

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There are many more to come. The internet is a journey only you don’t really go anywhere.