Eish!

I like a good rant as much as the next guy.

This is no exception. The flu has kicked in, the drugs aren’t cheap and they just make it worse[1]. However, before I rant away merrily and stew in my own melancholic torpor, take this disclaimer and memorise it well children:

Disclaimer: Eish! has no delusions of grandeur. It receives 43 spam comments a day and has a readership of 12 accidental hits a week, none of them from my mother (incidentally, even she doesn’t know about it). 3 of those hits are by me refreshing the page in different browsers to up the ante, 3 of them are stalkers and the rest are by your mother Googling for boot polish so get over it. I know I have.

The 2009 SA Blog Awards have left me with a somewhat stupefied expression on my face. It is the same expression you would have seen me wear when Bush beat Gore at the Polls, Zuma beat the NPA on the street and when I walked in on an erstwhile housemate beating it on the couch.

The cause of my stupour is easily surmised, though, by the Blog Awards website itself:

Quote: If you’re a winner or a runner up in any of the categories, please contact us and we will forward you your winner/runner up badge for you to put on your blog. Thank you.

What this says is that this whole chicken run is essentially so obscure and so ridiculous that even they don’t know who you are. And you’re the winner. I mean, honestly, how hard is it to reach webmaster@whatever.co.za or to even visit the actual blog, find an “about” page and perhaps, heaven forbid, actually read it? Bless.

Yet it seems I’m not alone in my musings. Some people even expressed concerns before the awards where finalised. Wonkie.com were not the first to pick up that the esteemed panel of judges fit a skewed demographic as tightly as O.J.’s glove collection. Even one of the judges commented on the process. Others were as amused as I was over the nomination vs voting debate [2].

Ultimately though, it is the winners role that puts the proof in the pudding [3]. Congratulations to all of you, though. Some of you are probably just as surprised as I am to find yourselves in a “humour” category. Or not in it as the case may be.

To my mind, and I’m not alone here, blogs like Baglett are the true epitome of humour and genius. She has endeavoured in a style that is not only original but is widely borrowed by other authors across our shores. Also, how exactly does Hayibo not feature in the Humour category? It’s as if the categories were loosely thrown together by a taxidermist rather than a taxonomist.

In short, and I have no intention of making this short, there is nothing here that inspires much confidence in the process, objectivity or seriousness of the whole matter. This is sad. Homeless puppy sad. South Africa needs the Blog Awards. We need the exposure. We need the recognition. Heck, we even need the good old back-patting and gratuitous groping that comes with a nomination. It should be a positive building experience no matter how you look at it. There is not a blog out there that has not expressed true unbridled pleasure at being nominated and the sheer buzz and excitement about getting nominated has been a recurring topic in the blogosphere in recent weeks.

Fortunately, my deeper thoughts on the matter have been captured already [4], saving me the hassle and pain of stringing my own words together into sentences complete with spelling, predicates and the odd rhyming pentameter. Read it, it’s insightful.

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[1] props to the Nice Dog Lady

[2] which dates back to 2007

[3] or as one headmaster once told me, “the proof in the pudding is in the eating”. I know, it made sense to me too.

[4] for this I thank you, webmaster@something.com